Last night we concluded another 6-session cycle of our Bereavement Program at St. Catharine-St. Margaret Parish in Spring Lake, NJ to help those who are navigating that difficult journey of grieving the loss of a loved one. I am continually blessed by the inner strength, resilience, and courage that people in grief bring to this beautiful ministry and the outpouring of support and healing they give and receive in kind from others experiencing loss. Our ministry is an incredibly inclusive and safe environment, one free of judgment where each person’s grief can be shared and witnessed within a community of fellow grievers each of whom is looking to find a new path forward in their lives. Through prayer, scripture readings, personal reflections, and selected works of poetry, film, and beautiful music, we help our participants tap into their feelings of denial, shock, deep sadness, guilt, regret, and anger that often accompany what is arguably this most challenging moment in their lives. In many ways, we have found that when people find the courage to share their personal story of loss and grief with one another, they can often find that path to acceptance and inner peace and potentially even new meaning and purpose for their life ahead.
As we were saying our final goodbyes to one another, one of our Participants shared this beautiful poem with me called The Dash by Linda Ellis, one that has often been read at many funeral services. The poem reminds us that it’s not the date you were born or the date you die but the dash between those years that really matters and how you use that time here in this life it to make a difference. I hope you enjoy the experience of reading the beautiful sentiments expressed in the poem. And as you read and reflect on it, take the time to examine what may likely be our own “dash” when God ultimately calls us home. And in this Easter season of rebirth and renewal, might there be things that each of us may want to change before our own dash is finalized and set in stone? Wishing all of you the gift of God’s abundant blessings, Dr. K
The Dash by Linda Ellis
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own - the cars… the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real, and always try to understand the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile, remembering this special dash might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash,
would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?
That is so true! What a nice poem! Thank you for sharing Jack.