Jack V. Kirnan - Kirnan Coaching Associates, LLC

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝗠𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗲𝗹𝗱 𝗟𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗿-𝗩𝗶𝗲𝘄 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿

One of the greatest misconceptions about grief is that healing means leaving the past behind. We hear phrases like, “It’s time to move on,” “You need to let go,” or “You have to get over it.” Though usually well-intentioned, these words can leave grieving people feeling that healing requires forgetting the person they loved or …

Bereavement Career Coaching Executive Coaching Grief Coaching Spiritual Coaching

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐞

“𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢?” “𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒,” ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑑. — 𝐿𝑢𝑘𝑒 18:41 (𝑁𝐼𝑉) Back in 2013, over lunch with an old friend, I was asked a question that changed my life — one I’m still answering today. That friend was Fr. Hank Hilton, SJ, and the lunch was …

Bereavement Grief Coaching Reflections Spiritual Coaching

𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐠𝐮é𝐬: 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟, 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

“𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐.” 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒘 𝟔:𝟐𝟏 Last Friday, I completed the Camino Portugués, walking 227 miles from Porto through Santiago and then on to Finisterre — often called “the end of the world.” As I reflect on the journey, three graces stand out: 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞: 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 My first …

Spiritual Coaching Bereavement Career Coaching Executive Coaching Grief Coaching

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐌𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 — 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐠𝐮é𝐬

“𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙖 𝙟𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙨, 𝙣𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙮 𝙖 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙟𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙮, 𝙖 𝙟𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙝, 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙪𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙟𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙪𝙡, 𝙗𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚.” — 𝙒𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝘽𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙮, 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 (𝟭𝟵𝟳𝟭) Today, …

Career Coaching Executive Coaching Grief Coaching Spiritual Coaching

The Loyola Retreat Experience — Discerning God’s Call in the Silence

“𝙃𝙚𝙮 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠, 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚?” — 𝘼 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝘽𝙞𝙡𝙡 Two weekends ago, my brother Matt and I stepped away from the noise of everyday life and attended a 42-hour Silent Retreat at Loyola Jesuit Center in Morristown, NJ. Matt and I have …

Spiritual Coaching Bereavement Career Coaching Executive Coaching Grief Coaching

𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧

“𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏… 𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕.” 𝑬𝒄𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝟯 A few days ago, I loaded up my truck with petunias and impatiens — two of my favorite flowers I’ve been planting for decades. It’s one of my favorite spring rituals, following weeks of preparation — power raking and fertilizing the lawn and …

Bereavement Grief Coaching Reflections Spiritual Coaching

Fifteen Years Later: I Still Carry My Dad’s Heart With Me

“i carry your heart with me (i carry it inmy heart) i am never without it” — E. E. Cummings In Bereavement Ministry, we often talk about the “Calendar of Grief” — those dates forever etched in our hearts: a loved one’s birthday, the anniversary of their passing, wedding anniversaries, and holidays like Mother’s Day, …

Leadership Coaching Spiritual Coaching

“𝐈𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐭, 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞”: 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟔𝟎 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐄𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜

Earlier this week, I had the privilege of sitting down for lunch with Chris Farrell, the President of Paramus Catholic High School — my alma mater and the largest Catholic high school in the state of New Jersey. His energy and commitment to the school and to Catholic education is both admirable and deeply empowering. …

Career Coaching Executive Coaching Reflections Spiritual Coaching

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐫𝐤: 𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

Somewhere along Sunday’s 40-mile route through the five boroughs, the TD Five Boro Bike Tour became something I didn’t expect — a journey back through the moments and people that shaped my life. As I rode through Lower Manhattan, I thought about the four firms that defined much of my earlier career — Merrill Lynch, …

Bereavement Grief Coaching Spiritual Coaching

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 – 𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝

Fifty-four years ago today, my older brother Dennis passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 19. In early 2020, going through my Mom’s personal things after her passing, I found this letter — Dennis had written it to me in February 1972, just two months before he died. I was a junior at …