“The degree to which a person can grow is in direct proportion to the amount of truth they can accept about themselves without running away.”
Leland Val Van De Wall
When I read this quote the other day I literally stopped what I was doing as it really hit home for me in a deeply personal way as I know that there are things about myself that I have run away from and did not want to acknowledge as my own truths and, as a consequence, stifled my personal growth and development. It has taken me a long time to realize that when I am truly and totally honest with myself as to who I am – all the good, the bad, and yes even the ugly – that I can actually become an agent of change who has the power to create a better version of myself and, in a spiritual context, become that version of myself that God has always wanted me to be.
SWOT Analysis and the 360 Performance Review
Accepting one’s truth reminds me of some self-assessment exercises that can help us uncover a potential pathway to personal growth and transformation. One exercise in particular that I’ve always enjoyed doing for myself and with my clients is a Personal SWOT Analysis that examines one’s Strengths (S), Weaknesses (W), Opportunities (O), and Threats (T) in the same way that SWOT Analysis has long been used by many companies as a critical input into their strategic planning process. To be truly effective, a Personal SWOT Analysis requires an extraordinary degree of honesty, particularly in identifying specific weakness and areas for improvement. And in our professional careers, the 360 Performance Review can uncover uncomfortable truths about ourselves that we either were not aware of or are unwilling to admit to and take action on, thus limiting opportunities for our future professional and personal growth.
Metanoia Embraces the Concept of Change
In reflecting on my own truths, this timely quote above reminds me of that Greek word “metanoia” which in its basic iteration simply means to turn around, to change your mind, to change what’s in your heart, and to change the direction of your life. Metanoia is not about changing your mind on a whim but rather it involves a deeper introspection of where one is right now in their life and being brutally honest about their own truths however difficult and painful they may be. Metanoia examines our willingness to think and act differently than we have to date. Spiritually, metanoia may involve feelings of deep remorse, regret, guilt, and even shame over wrongdoing and sinful behaviors from our past actions and a more intense desire to leave those transgressions and feelings behind as one seeks to move into that new direction and a potentially deeper relationship with the Lord.
As we move through this Holiday season and the promise of another new year ahead, it’s a good time to embrace the spirit of metanoia and to ask ourselves whether there are any specific personal truths that have kept us from changing our minds, our hearts, and the direction of where we would like to go in our lives? Specifically:
- Are there any behaviors, habits, or addictions that need a radical change of direction?
- Is your career providing you what you are looking for such as a better work/life balance, better compensation and benefits, more purpose and passion, or a stronger sense of personal fulfillment that you deserve?
- Are there any personal relationships that you would like to improve and need a change in direction?
- Are there any relationships at work that need to be addressed to improve your performance?
- Is there someone you need to forgive who has hurt you which can lighten the burden both of you may be carrying?
- Do you need to ask forgiveness of someone you may have hurt in the past?
A change in direction can be hard and super scary because it often will come with no specific set of instructions or manual on how to make that change. But remember that any change in direction comes with new possibilities and can bring you new beginnings. And in seeking that change of direction, remember to lean on the 3 F’s of your family, your friends, and your faith and know that God will always be with you as you take each step in that new direction. You’ve changed direction before and I know you can make the change in direction again so go ahead and take that next step and remember that the only time you will ever need to look back again is to see how far you’ve come.
As a final thought on accepting our own individual truths, I wanted to share with you a poem called The Man in the Glass by Peter Dale Wimbrow, Sr. that I read whenever I feel anxious or depressed as a reminder that in order for me to be the best version of myself and the person that God is calling me to be, that I need to be comfortable with that person called Me that I see in my mirror:
THE MAN IN THE GLASS — Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr. (1934)
“When you get what you want in your struggle for self, and the world makes you king for a day, just go to the mirror and look at yourself, and see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife whose judgment upon you must pass. The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life is the one staring back from the glass.
He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest, for he’s with you, clear to the end. And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test if the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years and get pats on the back as you pass, but your final reward will be heartache and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.”
Wishing all of my clients, fellow coaches, colleagues, and friends the gift of God’s abundan
