In 1521, a cannonball shattered the leg of a vain, ambitious soldier named รรฑigo Lรณpez de Loyola at the Battle of Pamplona. Months of painful recovery followed โ and in his boredom, reaching for stories of chivalry, he found instead the lives of Christ and the saints. That shattered leg became the doorway to sainthood.
Today, as the Church celebrates his feast, I give thanks for a man I never met, yet whose wisdom has profoundly shaped my life.
More than 20 years ago, after leaving my Wall Street career, several Jesuit priests โ especially my dear friend and Fordham classmate, Fr. Hank Hilton, SJ โ encouraged me to spend a year praying through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. It remains one of the most meaningful experiences of my life.
Since then, Fr. Hank and the many gifted spiritual directors at the Loyola Jesuit Center in Morristown, New Jersey, have become trusted companions, helping me discern God’s presence through every chapter of my journey โ all the seasons of great consolation and joy as well as the seasons of darkness, desolation, uncertainty, and change.
They’ve helped me recognize God’s voice in those unexpected “cannonball moments” that can suddenly and without warning, alter the course of a life like losing my brother at 17; a painful career transition at 49; becoming an empty nester at 54; the challenges and privilege of caring for both of my parents through the end of their earthly journey, and then learning to live with the emptiness that followed after God called them home; and a life-threatening cardiac event at 62.
With time comes a recognition that each “cannonball moment” were also moments of grace and an invitation to a deeper faith.
Prayer, silent retreats, two Camino pilgrimages across Spain and Portugal, and the Spiritual Exercises have taught me the healing power that comes when we pause, discern, and trust that God is always present in our lives, even before we fully understand where He might be leading us.
Two core Ignatian principles have especially shaped my faith journey: 1) finding God in all things, and 2) cura personalis, or caring for the whole person in body, mind, and spirit.
Principles that also guide my work as a coach and bereavement minister and help people discern and become more aware of where God may already be at work in shaping their own unique story.
It seems only fitting to close my reflection with the prayer St. Ignatius himself penned, The Suscipe:
“Take Lord and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will. All I have and call my own, You have given to me. To You, Lord, I return it. Everything is Yours: do with it what You will. Give me only Your love and Your grace. That is enough for me.”
Wishing all of you the grace to find God in every chapter of your lives and especially in our cannonball moments, Dr. K โฅ๏ธ ๐ ๐
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