“๐โ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ค๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข?” “๐ฟ๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐ค๐๐๐ก ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐,” โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. โ ๐ฟ๐ข๐๐ 18:41 (๐๐ผ๐)
Back in 2013, over lunch with an old friend, I was asked a question that changed my life โ one I’m still answering today. That friend was Fr. Hank Hilton, SJ, and the lunch was at Nagle’s, a legendary old-style apothecary in Ocean Grove, NJ, reminiscent of the Lexington Avenue Candy Shop in NYC with its friendly counter service, great comfort food, and an atmosphere that makes you want to go back in time.
Yesterday morning, on my usual Sunday bike ride after Mass, I rode past Nagle’s again.
I had met Hank in graduate school at Fordham University before he left for an energy economist’s position at Texaco. A few years later, as I was finishing my Ph.D., Hank decided to enter the Jesuit seminary and recommended me for his old position, paving the way for my professional career. But as life and career unfold, many years would pass before our paths crossed again.
By 2013, I was finishing a dean’s job at Holy Family University and reached out to Hank, who by then had built a distinguished career as a Jesuit priest and tenured economics professor at Loyola University Maryland. I knew he’d be the right person to talk to as I was at a real crossroads, having lost my Dad the year before, and increasingly felt that a leadership role in higher ed wasn’t feeding my soul. My wife and I were also entering the empty-nest years, with major caregiving responsibilities for my Mom and her parents.
Hank suggested that we meet at Nagle’s and shared a key insight from spiritual direction: pay attention to the people, places, and things that give your life a sense of purpose. Then he asked me the most meaningful question anyone has ever asked me:
‘So Jack, what might God be calling you to do in this next chapter of your life?’
No immediate answer came to mind, but it forced me to deeply examine my life in a way I hadn’t before. Over the months that followed, it became clear that as I entered my fourth quarter, I needed to put God back at the center of everything and that’s how I became an executive and career coach, a Trustee for Catholic Charities and Loyola Jesuit Center, more involved in parish life, and eventually director of our Bereavement Ministry.
Like the blind man Bartimaeus on the road to Jericho, I didn’t know exactly what I was asking for, but I knew I wanted to see more clearly. Hank’s question gave me that gift.
So every time I ride past Nagle’s, I savor the food and I remember my dear friend Fr. Hank, and the best question anyone’s ever asked me.
So, how about you? What might God be calling you to do in this chapter of your life?
Wishing my clients, fellow coaches, friends, and colleagues the grace of discerning where the Lord may be leading you.
โ Dr. K โค๏ธ ๐ ๐
#executivecoaching #spiritualcoaching #careercoaching #griefcoaching
