𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐤?

“𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕. 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒑𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖… 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.” (𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒘 11:28)

In many ways, the grief journey is like carrying a backpack and a metaphor for the emotional weight we carry after the loss of a loved one. At first, we have no idea how to carry the backpack as some days its light while other days its sheer weight is crushing. In those early days of grief, the backpack is filled with a range of emotions, thoughts, questions that remain unanswered, and memories — some that are heavy and are hurtful, some comforting, and some confusing:

• There’s a sadness and a deep ache for what was lost.
• Feelings of guilt for surviving while our loved one did not.
• Regrets over words not said and actions not taken.
• Anger at oneself, at others, and even at God which can test our faith.
• Loneliness and feelings of isolation even when we are in a room full of people.
• Anxiety and fear about the road ahead without our loved one at our side, the changes to our daily routine, in our relationships, and in our identity.
• Longing for one more moment, one more conversation, one more hug.

But over time, the backpack becomes more manageable to carry. We begin to unpack all the things inside our backpack, keeping only what really matters – the love, the laughter, the memories. We let go of the things that we no longer need and cannot change like the guilt, the self-blame, and all those “What ifs” and “If only’s” that had weighed us down. We realize that our family, friends, and our faith community can share the load and help us carry our grief backpack. We find healing in speaking with a counselor or support group and begin to journal and share our feelings more readily.

As the grief backpack lightens, we get stronger providing more space for us to grow in new and meaningful ways. We begin to realize that our loved one will always be a part of who we are and nothing can ever change that. My grief backpack travels with me, not necessarily as a burden but as a reminder of the unconditional love I had for my loved one in this earthly life. And as we carry our grief backpack, we know that God walks beside us even though we may not see Him. When we are too weary to carry our grief backpack, He carries us until we finish our own race and the earthly journey is done.

𝐒𝐨 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮?

• What things in your grief backpack have you tried to unpack to help lighten your load?
• What emotions and memories are you carrying in your own grief backpack?
• What have you learned about yourself and others as you carry your grief backpack?

Wishing my clients, friends, coaches, and fellow bereaved all the love and support that can help lighten the load of your grief backpack. Blessings, Dr. K ❤️🙏🏼😎

#GriefSupport #GriefCoaching #SpiritualCoaching