𝗡𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳: 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗪𝗲'𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗙𝗮𝗿 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘆

“𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤, 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙚𝙡𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙪𝙨. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢. 𝙒𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜.”

𝙍𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙅𝙤𝙝𝙣 𝙈𝙖𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚, 𝘼 𝙍𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙍𝙪𝙣𝙨 𝙏𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙄𝙩 (𝟭𝟵𝟵𝟮), 𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙣’𝙨 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙘 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝

Holidays can be an especially tender and painful time for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one, whether this is your first Holiday without them or you’ve carried your grief for years.

Empty chairs at family gatherings, resurfacing precious memories, traditions that feel different, and the contrast between inner sorrow and the world’s outward celebration may deepen feelings of loneliness or longing.

In my work as a bereavement counselor and coach, people often say, “Jack, I wish I understood them better” — a sentiment that speaks not only to those no longer with us, but also to the quieter, often unspoken grief for those who are still alive yet feel far away.

Relationships that have shifted, faded, or become complicated; family members whose choices perplex us; and loved ones whose inner worlds remain hidden despite years of living together.

In my faith tradition, the Holidays coincide with Advent, a season often characterized as an awakening to God’s presence in your life.

A season inviting us to slow down and extend patience to someone who frustrates us; to reach out to someone that we’re avoiding; and to love someone more completely even when we don’t understand them.

These Advent invitations and that quote above from a father grieving his son in the movie “A River Runs Through It” — resonate deeply for me.

For those grieving a loss, it invites us to release the burden of needing to understand everything and to just love them completely — both the known and the unknown parts of their life.

And for those navigating challenging relationships, it reminds us that even without full understanding, we can still choose to love them.

𝗦𝗼, 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂?

Is there someone in your life—living or who has passed—whom you love deeply but don’t fully understand?

How might you approach that relationship differently in this season of Advent?

During this Holiday season, may we awaken to God’s presence in the messiness and confusion of our daily life; in the grief that we carry for the loved ones we’ve lost; and for those still here who feel far away.

May we find the courage to extend grace to those we cannot fully understand and just love them completely.

Wishing my clients, fellow coaches, colleagues, and friends a Blessed and Joyful Holiday Season,

Dr. K